Friday, June 22, 2007

Losing Drive

It seems that I'm beginning to lose interest in some of my daily activities.

Nihongo

I'm really having difficulties catching up.
I'm gradually losing focus, confidence and motivation.
Now I'm not even sure if I am really capable of passing.
I might have made a big mistake for choosing level 1.
Language is definitely not my area.

Project

It's not that I'm getting tired of being stuck with the same project.
But I'm starting to feel that I'm not getting anywhere with this.
I'm not sure until when I could continue doing these things.

Maybe it's just because so many people are leaving the company.
It causes a lot of stress and pressure to remaining people in the office.
I can't and won't hide the fact that I'm deeply affected by these changes.

As much as I wanted to do something about it, I can't.
People won't change because you told them to.
At this point, I can only change myself.
And hopefully, be able to make a difference.

3 comments:

Knight said...

My Friend,

I truly symphatize with you. Pero unlike the rest of us, I do believe you have something special. You have built a reputation that has earned you the title of Superman (I'm so jelous. hahaha)...

Here is what I think.. you CAN influence some change in the company. The thought of your resignation would make your supervisor/manager think of resigning too. So probably you can schedule a break/vacation to define what you really want in life, think of a way for your job and vision to coexist, and demand a change in your schedule/responsibilities. It doesnt hurt to be honest (most of the time), and professionally, it is the duty of the HR Department to ensure that valuable asset like you are developed and not lost.

Magulo, pero I hope you get the point. Life is too short to be waiting for opportunities, go and seek them out. When you have mastered changing yourself, you can begin to change the world.

(also sent by email)

neni said...

now THIS will send some people screaming in panic.
hehehe...

i think it's normal to lose drive once in a while. you just have to find ways to motivate yourself and rediscover the reasons why you love what you're doing. Change happens everyday, people come and go, and projects may go down the drain, but the important thing is inspite of all these changes you are still becoming, or atleast trying to be, the person you want to be.

WS said...

I know how you feel, since we are on the same team. Sometimes you see everybody leave it just doesn't feel any good to be staying. Especially when it is someone like me where my opinions and thoughts have never mattered at all.

You are a valuable asset to the company. I wish the people would wake up and look and see what is going on and hopefully they try to rebuild what has left of us.

Let's try and hang in there. Ang importante naman is dapat satisfied ka parin sa ginagawa mo, or else, there is no point in doing any of it. If you feel there is no reason for all of this, then maybe, you have reached a fork where you must decide.

Anyway whatever happens, it will all be the best.