Close Encounters with the Reptiles

I recently purchased some items from an online store (I just took advantage of their free express shipping promo). O:)

The package did arrive in less than a week (the non-express shipping took almost 2 months), but unfortunately, what I received was a notice that package is subject for customs examination.

This is quite different from the previous notice cards. Before, the packages were actually delivered to the postal office nearest to the shipping address. This time, I had to go to the postal office along Domestic Road (Pasay) to claim the parcel.

When I arrived at the postal office, there were a bunch of people outside the warehouse, waiting for their parcels to be release. I gave the notice card to the EMS personnel and I was told to wait outside until my name is called.

After an hour or so, they called me and as part of the operating procedures, they would open the parcel and inspect its contents. Attached in the box is a document declaring the actual amount of the item. Normally, the online store would lower the declared value to avoid detection. In my case, they put $20 in the declared value (from actual value of $40).

However, the little curly crocodile, Celia Bantig, told me that she would not accept it. Of course, because she is GREEDY. After that she went to their office, then she returned with a piece of scratch paper with lots of computations. o_O

She wanted to price my item for an outrageous price of $150, which meant that I had to pay more than Php 3000 for the release of my item. Talk about hostage situations. o_O

I did not agree to that so she asked me how much did I pay for it, I replied $40, but she wasn't convinced (or she just wanted to extort me). I asked her if they have a computer with an Internet connection so I could show her the price. She rep(lied) to me that they don't have Internet connection, and they don't even have computers in their office.

She's probably expecting me to give in, but I told her that I'll just return the next day and bring with me a copy of the receipt.

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The following day, I returned with a printed receipt. I was told to go inside their crocodile den (office), and search for Pemma, the mother crocodile. I told her my situation and showed her the receipt.

She offered to make a new computation. She wrote some numbers, punched some keys on her calculator and ended up with $50. I was relieved to learn that I only had to pay a little over Php 1000.

But before I could celebrate, the mother crocodile, suddenly changed her mind, acted as if she had forgotten something, then punched some keys on her calculator again, and this time, came up with $90 (WTF?!?). She probably realized that $50 just wasn't worth their time and effort.

Anyway, I decided not to argue with her, because I knew nothing about customs laws and procedures. Although she did mentioned that they had to include "insurance" and "postage". Then again, I don't really believe that it would double the price?!?!

So, she wrote in her report that the price of the item is $90.51. With the following computation:

$90.51 * 47.077 (Exchange Rate) =
Php 4260.94 (Price in Peso)

Php 4260.94 * 15% (Rate of Duty) =
Php 639.14 (Import Duty)

For the VAT, her computation was:
Php 4260.94 (Adjusted Price) +
Php 639.14 (Import Duty) +
Php 265 (CDS) +
Php 250 (IPF) =
Php 5145.08 (Big F*cking Amount) * 12% (VAT) =
Php 649.81 (VAT)

For the final amount:

Php 639.14 (Import Duty) +
Php 649.81 (VAT) +
Php 264 (CDS) +
Php 250 (IPF) =
Php 1804 (Ransom Money, almost same amount as the item!!!)

The Import Duty, I supposed, would go to the pocket of some greedy bastard in Department of Finance, while the VAT money, would be added to one of the many bank accounts of the Evil First Gentleman Mike Arroyo (Husband of the Evil Bitch). He he. :))

The CDS, which probably stands for Customs Documentary Stamp, which according to the fine print in the receipt should only amount to TWO PESOS (Php 2.00), and the IPF (only God knows what it stands for), will probably be distributed among the crocodiles and lizards crawling within the post office compound. Ha ha. :))

Oh, I almost forgot, the little curly crocodile lied to me about the computers. There were 3 computers in their den, and there's another one outside. And she seemed to be avoiding me, but I still managed to get her name from her ID.

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Unfortunately for normal citizens like me, it's impossible for us not to be taken advantage of by greedy people like them. :(

At least now, you know where you're money is going... :P

Taxation 101 - Part 4

This is probably the last of my taxation series. I went to BIR Manila last March 5 to get my certificate of registration and other tax documents. I began the registration process last February 19. Normally, it would only take a week for the processing to be completed, but we ran into some issues.

Due to some misunderstanding, instead of applying for a Percentage Tax Type, we initially applied for a VAT Tax Type, which means I'll be paying 12% of my monthly pay instead of 3% every month.

And because I didn't want to be late for the February 20 deadline, I immediately paid the 12% for the month of January. The following day, I found out that I was supposed to pay only 3%.

Ate Weng offered to return to BIR to have my documents fixed, including a late registration for the last quarter of 2007, and to ask if there is a way to get my incorrect payment back.

She had my documents fixed, but the BIR officer is no longer interested for the late registration for 2007. When Ate Weng insisted that we wanted to pay for our taxes for the last quarter of 2007, the officer told her something like "kung marami talaga kayong pera, ibigay niyo na lang sa amin" (if you really have lots of money, just give it to us.)

We decided not to pursue the taxes for 2007 since the BIR officer himself is not even interested in it. As for my incorrect payment (12%), we learned that there's no way to get it back or even credit it for next month's payment. It turned out that the "system" only takes and doesn't bother to give anything back. Anyhow, I just think of that 12% as my tax payment for the last quarter of 2007.

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Going back, I went to the BIR officer who processed my registration. To my disappointment, before I could get the certificate, I still need to do a couple of things. So what the hell was that 1 week processing time for?

1st step was to obtain a documentary stamp from the "collection" unit located at the far end of the office. The tiny stamp, similar to a postage stamp, officially costs P100, however the "collector", Normita Azurin, asked for P115 from me. P15 maybe not that much, but corruption is still corruption.

2nd step was to proceed to room #3 to have the stamp and receipt attached to the certificate, then have it signed by the office-in-charge in that department. The officer in this room was very different from all the other BIR employees. She's soft-spoken, polite and shows genuine concern to people.

3rd step was to give the documents to room #2 for some date stamps, a couple more signatures, and finally a dry seal. I had to wait for around 15 minutes.

4th and last step was to give the stamped and signed documents to the releasing section, where it will be stamped and signed for the last time, and finally given to me together with a tax certificate which we would normally find in establishments.

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My recent encounters have given me first hand experience with taxation, red tape and corruption. Hopefully, I wouldn't have to go back to that place and transact with those people anytime soon.

To end this post and this series, I would like to share some photos which I took from the BIR office...

This is a typical ceiling that you would see in almost all places in the BIR building. The building is really old and seems to be poorly maintained as what these ceilings suggest.

This is the men's discomfort room in one of the floors. The other discomfort rooms on the other floors do not exactly look like this but feels the same.

I wanted to take a picture of the office itself but I never had the chance to do so. But if you could just imagine, a big office with lots of tables, each table with lots of papers stacked and lying around, some employees not in their proper uniform, some playing solitaire during working, disorganized and unfriendly...

Taxation 101 - Part 3

Third part of my taxation series...

I found myself back within the creepy walls of BIR Manila. This time I was early. I arrived a little past 8AM.

I went up to the 5th floor, where RDO-029 is located.

When I gave my forms, the officer told me to make the payment first. She gave me a payment form and after I completed the form, I went to the ground floor for the payment.

For taxpayers' convenience, there's a Landbank branch inside the BIR building, with a whopping "2" tellers.

It was still closed when I got there but there were already around 50 or so people waiting. These people were divided into 2 groups, one with bulk forms and the other for few forms.

The tellers are divided this way as well, so technically only 1 teller processes all the payments.

At first I didn't know about this setup, so I found myself joining the bulk forms group. When the bank opened, the guard came out with a piece of paper, which would contain the list of people.

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The moment he came out, chaos broke out, and everyone was trying to get their name on the list through some forms of flirting with guard.

I went to see what's happening and one of the "hired fixers" approached me and asked how many forms will I be processing.

I just call them "hired fixers" since they've probably been hired by business owners to go through the tedious process of lining-up for hours, and stamping hundreds of forms.

So I told her I only have one form. She was surprised and told me that I was in the wrong line. My innocent look seems to have some advantages. >:)

I transferred to the other line but I was already 41st. Some of those guys were already there even as early as 7AM. That was a really bad sign. :(

True enough, I waited from 9AM until 11:45AM before I reached the teller. It was a grueling experience. I'll explain why in my next post, but somehow I was able to endure it, thanks to "The Secret". :)

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After I made the payment, I ran back to the registration unit at the 5th floor. It was 11:50AM.

But to my disappointment, some guy who is not even in proper uniform told me get a photocopy of the payment form first. I asked them if they have a copier somewhere and he replied to me that all of their copiers have no inks.

At that moment I wanted to tell that guy "f*ck you", but I was able to control myself. I knew he was lying, just to make sure I wouldn't be consuming some of their lunch break. I just hope he doesn't get home alive. Just kidding. O:)

So I left the building in search of a copy machine. I was expecting several copiers around the area but to my surprise there were only two, and they're charging 2 pesos per page. O_o

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I had lunch at Port Area Grill and stayed for a few minutes before heading back to BIR. It didn't took me more than 15 minutes to have my registration processed.

However, I still need to come back for the Certificate of Registration and for the printed official receipts, which somehow, was the source of corruption for the low rank officers.

The BIR officer just took a scratch paper and gave it to me as a receipt for the printing service. I didn't know printing some few pages of receipts would cost 950 pesos. O_o

Anyhow, that was the end of part 3. I still have a couple of things to share but I'll just include them in my next post.

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To be continued...